I spent part of Halloween weekend sitting on the couch and reading the great Dark Horse reprints of old Creepy and Eerie comics with my Canadian brother-in-law. We were both having flashbacks checking out the old ads from James Warren's Captain Company, featuring everything from dimestore novelties to monster masks to Venus flytraps... and squirrel monkeys, shipped directly to your door for just $19.95!
We wondered how many kids actually bought themselves a little primate pal, and how exactly the deal worked out for them. Through the magic of the internet, Lafe found out. Check out the true stories of squirrel monkey owner adventures, right here.
And now I'm wondering -- were there any small towns where a bunch of kids ordered monkeys from Mr. Warren and abandoned them? I can imagine urban gangs of squirrel monkeys knocking over the local donut shop on a Saturday night, or wild groups setting up colonies in the local woods... Who knows, maybe those smart little critters even planted forests of Mr. Warren's mail-order Venus flytraps and harvested that insectile protein right out of their slavering vegetative jaws!
Of course, one of them would have to be in charge. A smart one. Kind of like a primate Mr. Kurtz.
The horror! The horror!